Comments for StepWisdom Blog

Comment on Divorce and successful children by Candida Abrahamson

Candida Abrahamson — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 19:26:48 +0000

This is extremely interesting information. I actually did a significant amount of research on children and divorce, and found some fascinating things. First, interparental conflict predicts difficulties with children more than divorce (see full post at http://candidaabrahamson.wordpress.com/2011/12/28/should-i-stay-or-should-i-go-high-conflict-marriages-and-their-impact-on-children-2-and-the-research-says/). Second, the degree of conflict during and after the divorce once again will be a predictor of the children’s success (see low-conflict-vs-high-conflict-divorce-why-mediate for statistics about how children do if the divorce itself is high-conflict). I find this quite an important issue given how many children come from conflicted or divorced homes, and would love feedback on the research if you feel your own experience doesn’t support it. All the best in your efforts to raise a happy next generation, Candida

Comment on Radio show on Voice America December 23 by Sandy Klos

Sandy Klos — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 01:53:11 +0000

Eleanor, I’m so proud of you! Congratulations on the success of this effort of yours. You are helping so many people. Merry Christmas! I hope living in two places is not too hard on you and you are getting enough R&R. Tell Tom I wished him a merry Christmas too.

Comment on Does Divorce “Harm” Children? by Eleanor

Eleanor — Sun, 24 Oct 2010 19:52:02 +0000

thank you, I agree, and hope you will continue to visit the web site, and hope the information here will help all of us acknowledge the immense value that good families of all kinds provide all of us. Being in a loving family is such a enormously important part of being human.

Comment on Does Divorce “Harm” Children? by Jonas

Jonas — Sun, 24 Oct 2010 19:49:07 +0000

I don’t know anyone who does not have a stepfamily in their own family if you include cousins, in-laws and parents and children; they are everywhere, and most seem happy, and certainly happier than the people I know stuck in haefilled marriages. I have taught school for decades and seen family situations that make ones heart break, and ones that make me proud to be a human being. The most upsetting were the children who were clearly being tyranized, abused, and worse by biological parents. i have seen some truly awful stepparents too, but kids seem to be able to defend their sense of self better when it is not a biological parent doing the inappropriate behaviors. With everyone in the country somehow touched, and mostly in a positive way by step family people….I like what this says. Feel sad for those with no economic path for escape, although the divorce rate among lower economic groups is the same as among the wealthy from what I have seen.

Comment on StepFamilies and Blended families have served as successful family forms for thousands of years by Evow

Evow — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 04:26:21 +0000

Hello – I must say, I am impressed with your blog. I had no trouble navigating through all the tabs and information was very easy to access. I found what I wanted in no time at all. Pretty awesome. Would appreciate it if you add forums or something, it would be a perfect way for your clients to interact. Great job! Evelyn

Comment on Military Suicides and Honoring Family by Eleanor

Eleanor — Sun, 03 Oct 2010 17:23:01 +0000

This blog was “inspired” by the number of stepfamilies I see as a therapist and coach who are coping not only with newly forming stepfamily structures but the issues of PTSD, head injury, and readjusting to living back home. So many have an even bigger uphill battle when the soldier comes home from war than was ever anticpated. Our society was in many ways so angry and cruel to the Viet Nam veterans when they returned. I truly hope we do not repeat that in any way and all of us do what we can to make them welcome home, and successful in thier lives and families here.

Comment on Military Suicides and Honoring Family by Tom

Tom — Sun, 03 Oct 2010 00:36:13 +0000

I am astounded at the number of suicides among our active duty service personell. This speaks volumes about the psychological as well as physical damage that service men and women suffer as they serve overseas in areas of active combat operations. When these figures are combined with the figures for the numbers of divorces and destroyed personal relationships that service people suffer, the effect of combat operations on our troops in the Middle Eastern theater becomes truely devastating. Without active and caring moral, medical, and psychological support from both their familes (whether they are biological families or step-families) and verterans organizations, then we are consigning thousands of service men and women to lives without the possibilty of recovery.

Comment on StepFamilies and Blended families have served as successful family forms for thousands of years by Tom

Tom — Sun, 12 Sep 2010 17:54:22 +0000

In the middle ages upper class successful families insisted that their children were sent to another Lord’s home to be raised separately from biological parents during their teen years. Biological parents were seen as too likely to spoil a child and not prepare him/her to be a member of society. Poor peasant families could clearly not do that, but even so children were apprenticed to other adults at times to learn a trade and be more successful. It seems that step-parents can serve a similar purpose in being a more objective guide to the rest of society. However, we have somehow forgotten that “step” relationships were seen as value added and now see step-relationships as second rate. Interesting difference.

Comment on Step family life can be infuriating but a life skill can grow from managing feelings by Tom

Tom — Sun, 12 Sep 2010 17:44:19 +0000

I teach in a school for students with Special Needs, and this was a great description of self-regulation which is so needed by so many of our students in order for them to be successful, creaative, relational people. Tom

Comment on StepWisdom is now in Print by Eleanor

Eleanor — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 21:57:20 +0000

Hi, Hope to see you on Wednesday, and thank you for your support, was fun meeting you, and looking forward to further visits.